stageless, i perform for no one. Another half year passes and this blog remains. reminding me of what i once wanted. I fantasize of being consumed by the meaning of life, creating to worship time. It’s dumbfounding, what time fills with. Advice i hear frequently is “don’t spend your time doing what you don’t want to do”, but these days pass unfulfilled. leadership, capability, more of everything else. i stare at a page where i judge my handwriting. so i choose to type instead. I’ve been going for seven years, and that anniversary is today. No wonder i feel sick, a rebirth is on going. shedding time one more time. i want to be more than a job, to spend time creating instead of working. luxury is what comes to mind. time ticks and im ticked off at my time. i spend my days resigned from trying.

i like staying in the same place to see it change. i know i have control over my life, but its hard to find the motivation to drive it. im just a d00d too dumb to risk discomfort in order to feel free.